This past week I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be an
Instrument in God`s hands. That phrase has always stood out to me in
the scriptures. As President Monson shares his personal experiences of
how he has been able to answer the prayers of other people through his
personal actions, I can`t help but think about the few times I have
been able to do the same think. I can`t think of anything more
gratifying, more beautiful, and more spiritually uplifting than
knowing or feeling that you have been able to answer another`s
This last week, I feel like I was able to do that.
It all started with an activity that we`re going to have here in the
ward. We have to visit a big list of Less Actives to invite them to
come. We ran into a young woman who is 25 years old. Her name is
Roxanna and she has an 8 year old girl named Amy and is pregnant with
her second child. When we knocked her door, she immediately let us in.
Obviously, she was a VERY active young woman after she was baptised.
She even went to seminary and remembers a lot of what she learned.
However, she`s distanced herself from the church now.
As we shared a bit with her about faith and repentance, she talked
about the challenge it is for her to come back. She mentioned that
every time she`s pregnant, God has sent another pair of missionaries
to her door. She has also recently had dreams about God inviting her
to come back to church. Obviously, God is working hard to help her
As I listened to her experiences and feelings, I just knew that God
had sent me to visit her. As we talked about coming back to church, I
felt the spirit whisper to me the mind of our Lord. Why would He send
missionaries at these key moments? Why would he want Roxanna to come
back to church when she is pregnant? The spirit told me so clearly:
God has given her these two children. They are not hers, they are His
children. He wants them to have a successful life where they can learn
to live the principles of the gospel and be protected by the
ordinances of the restored gospel of Christ.
I began to tell Roxanna this very thing, and I could see something in
her face...I think it was a feeling of recognition. She knows it`s
true. She knows that NOW is the time to come back. I explained to her
what could happen. Her little 8 year old is going to church on her own
right now. However, what will happen in 4 years when her mother tells
her to go to church? Amy will probably just look at her mom and say,
but mom, you don`t go to church. Why can`t I just say my prayers and
read the scriptures here at home? If you don`t go, why do I have to?
I think I got to her heart when I said those words...it`s amazing how
the impressions from the Holy Ghost can help you so much.
The other experience I had this week was with two elders in our
district, Elder Vargas and Elder Sierra. Elder Vargas is from Mexico
and is a truly amazing elder. I am learning a ton from him! He`s also
our district leader. Elder Sierra has had a very tough mission. He
came to the mission a bit immature. He just wasn`t very ready. He`s
changed a TON, but still has problems with his companions and on
Friday they had another fight, and Elder Vargas just called us up.
When we stepped into their apartment, I could just feel a huge wall
of...nothing. The absence of the spirit was just SO OBVIOUS. I felt
just a lot of darkness there. I sat down with Elder Sierra, who had
still not changed out of his underwear, and began trying to talk to
him. Elder Chinchay took Elder Vargas outside so that we could talk
alone for a minute.
As we had this tiny little interview, I prayed so hard that God would
give me the words that Elder Sierra needed to continue on and have
success in the mission. I honestly don`t remember half of what I said.
All I know is that I talked about having the spirit be the senior
companion. He needs to lead Elder Sierra. Elder Vargas may have the
assignment of Senior Companion, but he doesn`t lead the companionship,
the spirit does. I told Elder Sierra that he needs to make that become
his focus. Instead of thinking that Elder Vargas just wants to do it
`his way`, he should search for the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
I`m not sure what it was, but after our conversation, Elder Sierra was
willing to continue with their weekly planning session. He got up and
began changing. As for today, they seem to be doing ok. I wouldn`t say
that everything is 100 percent better. It`s obvious that they still
aren`t the best of friends...but they continue on. I feel that the
spirit was somehow able to communicate something through me to help
this Elder who was confused, lost, and simply discouraged.
There truly is nothing more amazing than to know that God has been
able to work through you. The spirit is the best gift in the world. I
would give anything away to just know that my Heavenly Father is
pleased with what I am doing, and the Holy Ghost is what tells me
that. The fire that I feel within my chest carries me throughout the
Honestly, I`m tired. My body is tired. My mind is tired. However, I
feel the spirit is always pushing me on. I hope that I can always
continue to have His spirit to be with me, as I work to fulfill the
most simple of my covenants, that of baptism.
I love you all! I hope that you all can search for the guidance of the
Holy Ghost. One thing I am learning is that we must be humble. If we
choose not to follow ONE prompting, then He will go away until we
follow that prompting. If something is coming to your mind over and
over again and you don`t do it, how can you possibly expect the spirit
to help guide you in a time of need? Who knows? Maybe He was trying to
help you before the fact, but you chose to not do His will, and
because of that you`re in this difficult situation.
God will never cause us to be sad. He always leads us towards His
kingdom. He always gives us happiness and peace.
Love you all! Sorry I couldn`t send pictures this week...I`ll try to
get on it next time!! Mom, if you have to do the ward newsletter, you
can use some of my old pics too!