Monday, April 15, 2013

Men and Women. Why can`t they just all get along? - Email from April 1, 2013

So this week was super great here in Tacala City! We have been working really hard to help our investigators to progress towards baptism. I don`t know if I mentioned it before or not, but we have changed a bit here in the mission! We are now contacting ALL of our investigators every day! That means a lot of work, but at the same time things have become a lot more personal with them. I feel like I am really able to help some of them out.

So my title this week is about men and women. After living in a house full of girls...I think that I may be a bit baised, but I wanted to tell you all about some of the things I have seen this week and how blessed we are to have the knowledge that we do. The prophets and apostles have always talked about the seperate roles of men and women and how they should work together to create happy families.

So first I want to tell you about Rosa and Waldemir.

Rosa works all day every day cutting and styling hair. She has two days off a week, Wednesday and Sunday. Waldemir, her husband, works six days a week and hardly ever is at home. He normally gets home at about 10 every night, so basically their relationship is phonecalls and text messaging. Not really the best way to have a great relationship.

This week we have seen with them that their marriage is in danger of ending. Waldemir has a drinking problem. Every week he comes home from work just to drink. Rosa is really upset with that, just like any other would be. However, she has lost hope and refuses to help him. He has told us a few times that he wants to change...but Rosa claims that he`s just playing us. He just tells us what we want to hear.

What I have learned from this couple is how vitally important it is to have the same goals as a couple. They both want to help their three kids and think that working to death is sufficient, however, their marriage is practically lost because of that decision. The other thing that I have learned is how important it is to put MARRIAGE FIRST and KIDS SECOND. I was thinking about it the other day: Mom, Dad, you`ve almost gotten to the point when all of the kids are out of the house. Now what? You have each other. Imagine to yourselves that in all this time you hardly ever talked to each other. Would you want to be in the same room all day together? No. One day, all the kids will be gone. They`ll have their own families to provide for. We may work very hard to help them form their own families and have that opportunity, but in the end, our relationship with our spouse is the most important thing. You have kids to form a family, and to learn and grow together.

My next experience is with Carlos and Carmen. Carlos is your VERY TYPICAL male chouvenist pig. I honestly couldn`t stand to be in the same room with him for very long...but we`ve now taught them three times. In their family, they have 3 young boys that are super roudy and very poorly disciplined. Carlos blames that on his wife, saying that it is her responsability. He also has `hired` his niece to take care of the kids, but he, along with his wife, treats her like a slave. `Clean this up. Wash the dishes. Bathe the kids. Help them with their homework. Make the elders some lemonaide.` Honestly, I think he ordered her around the entire half hour that we were there.

What suprises me the most with Carlos is that he thinks that it`s ok. He thinks that he can continue to live this way and that he will have the happy family that he wants.

Well, he`s wrong.

I want to bear my testimony that God has a plan for families. It`s simple. It`s consice. You can find it in `The Family: A Proclamation to the World.` For those of you who have not read that document, I invite you to. I know that that is the ONLY way we can be happy.

We can`t work all day. We can`t not talk to our spouses. We can`t treat people horribly and expect them to serve us how we please. A family must be centered on Christ in order to succeed. A family must learn to love, forgive, and to have faith with each other.

Well...I`m sorry that my email is so...weird! I think my grammer is pretty much gone so it`s hard for me to communicate my ideas...however, I hope you all know that I am grateful for parents that follow the council of the prophets.

As for all of you who choose not to follow that`s my answer!!! Haha, I took this pic today in the market. Basically just know that if I hear about any husband that`s mistreating his wife, I just mights show up on his doorstep with this...LOOK OUT!!! ;)

Love you all!!
Elder Schofield

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